A While…

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a lot of the core ideals I’ve lived by over the years. What do I still find core to my very being, which ones have a lapsed, which ones have I stood by and which are destroyed? Have I lived well, have I fallen down on what I’ve wanted or what I wanted to be for myself? Am I a good example of my ideals that I hold dear, or simply a shadow or impostor to what ideal I hold as a goal?

Overall I think I’ve done pretty well for myself. I think I have held true to most of my ideals, my idealisms, and haven’t fallen down on the important things. I’ve made mistakes, I have shattered lives and built people up. I’ve slipped up for people important to me and in turn have helped people I know little of.

So I’ve accomplished these things. I’ve held to my ideals, at least the important ones. But where does that leave me? What do I want now? I’ve surpassed every 5 year plan I’ve laid out for myself. I’ve beaten the odds and the damned statistics. I’ve survived absolutely insane adventures and been through mental anguish that would make many break as human beings. So what do I want now? What should I acheive now? Do I keep fighting the world without following the rules? Why should I? What’s the point really? Maybe I should just lie low and live for a while or has that been what I’ve done for the last 5+ years? I’ve got a new path in front of myself, but I’m honestly not sure which way I’m heading at the moment. Life is good, love is good, and my adventures continue to entertain me and provide me things that make me happy. But I’ve no idea what else I want in life, I’m happy.

Well, enough waxing on about directions and failures and accomplishments, I’m down for some shut eye.